Casey Affleck is probably the most embarrassing person in the universe. No, not just now but like historically. His object of study Joaquin Phoenix is fairly sad as well but we forgive him. Joaquin is after all just an actor, but Casey – that stunt is so utterly boring. It’s like trying to compete with amateur porn released on the Internet to boost your career. So Paris Hilton crisis! Of course I’m dead jealous for not being in film business. Not because of the “excellence” of the “I’m Still Here”-scam but because in my trade there hasn’t been a dirty story since… the beginning. Wow, that’s not bad: the filthiest, under the belt whoop-whoop produced by dance and choreography was it’s coming into be being. — D I R T Y -– Yeah, a tip-top indecency is only good whatever it is productive of, but the type of hoax staged by Casey is just so last Friday, so kind of pre-recession joke.
Shit, is this where I’m turning moral. Yeah, fake is just so not cool. The position is simply cynical, and we like cynicism, but only as a means and not as an end. Cynicism is frequently mixed up with face-the-fact scrutiny of circumstances. To identify asymmetries and announce their existence is not cynical, perhaps uncomfortable cuz it’s direct and in your face but, if performed without attitude quite healthy as long as it is not looking for protection. To complain is not much use but to realize that circumstances if used as proposed are totally fucked is not cynical. The simplest example is the art council that celebrates my project with 20% of the asked for support and still expects me to accomplish the proposition from A to Z. Hello, this means that, from now on I will increase my budget estimations with 500%, but of course that will dump the market, so not a good idea. “-If you do that, you will jeopardize the trust from the council.” Ehhh, yes true but since when did we have trust? I’m happy every time they fuck me, cuz at least I feel something. Or, the theatre group that receives only a fifth of the estimated expenses. Well, they will obviously just play the first act of Hamlet. Isn’t that five acts. No no, we always try our best, at least as long as we are not properly institutional, which is when extra hours suddenly seem to have gone extinct parallel to dinosaurs. I didn’t say I like it but this is like cognitive or whatever bio-capitalism, and we think art and culture are progressive? Dude, when it comes to running a business it’s like Fred Flintsone is the director of every (not second) dance institution.
What do you think about when you activate your out-of-office email service? You don’t, and that’s the problem. It seems people acquire some weird gene when they get a long-term contract or something. And more worryingly, what on earth do you think when the return date is in six weeks? Jezuz, you have decided to work in dance and whatever cultural bullshit and you take six weeks vacation, is that how dedicated you are? And still you take for granted that others stay loyal and keep it up. I dig it, what did you do this summer questions, and somebody proudly announcing a trip to a festival, before doing the cottage in the countryside story with the kids and a good book (a novel perhaps the Millenium trilogy). You haven’t even thought about if you like it? Are you having better sex during or after those days off? Are you more alert and have better ideas? I never met anybody that came back from vacation with anything else than a tan and more bad ideas. I demand unconditionality.
Casey apparently hasn’t had vacation, bless him, nah – he’s been working quite hard on topping his brother, and a scam is always a certain failure. The strategy of a born loser, like an I-still-read-Marvel-comics-teenager with a firm belief in some sort of outside, if not physical or actual then at least in the shape of a mystical brotherhood or secret sect living on a weird island. No way, a fake never has any lasting value, it might upset a few and produce today’s headlines that’s all. If it is good for anything it is to stabilize already established circumstances, frames or markets. That’s the cynical part, you are just in it for the money Casey. Your are nothing better than Janet Jackson having Justin rip her bra off at super bowl. Casey Affleck is like a Hollywood wannabe version of Lars von Trier whose films we never go to see but always respect, cuz of his consistency. His “The Five Obstructions” is totally the awesome flipside of “I’m Still Here”, cynical yes, but also absolutely unconditional in its devotion to the medium. Lars von Trier never laughs about himself or somebody else but only to the ridicule of devotion.
If Casey Affleck would be in dance he’d be the founder of Superamas, and watch out for those that like it with the comment that the film or performance made them angry for several days and therefore must have meaning and – OMG – value. Hello, you also learn something from having your tongue freeze onto a lamppost, being gang raped or submitting your visa card number to a porn site, but at least you learn to do it only once. If Casey would be a director of a theatre or dance venue he’d certainly be active in Vienna, and when photographed, strike a pose one would call: Brut. But perhaps Casey is Ok since in a way he did dig his own grave. Like what’s his next film gonna be about, Woody Allen?
Ladies and gentlemen, none of your strategies’ gonna make a homerun. Your silent disagreement, biding your time to catch the right moment to utter that perfectly balanced comment. It’s fucked dude, speak up now, don’t fool yourself you are just scared to piss somebody off and embarrass yourself. No, your “-I just want to do my work, I don’t have time to be angry” isn’t gonna change anything at all, to anybody else it’s simply an expression of benevolence, and I hope you are not so naïve that you believe that your work, like as such, has any impact. At best it’s a pawn in the program that nobody has an idea how it came to be like that. And seriously, to fake something to try to undermine capitalism, or markets, vis-à-vis some super clever double conspiracy, nope that’s so cynical that even Casey can be forgiven. It will not make any difference, it’s not shooting yourself in the foot but in the head whilst having a laugh with the boys (use your French accent). There is only one way out, speak up and do it now! We demand absolute unconditionality.
And if you say network, I’m leaving through that door. Even if you just whisper collaboration, I’m slamming it shut behind me. If you mention co-production, I’m gonna send my dog after you. And if you absent-mindedly write residency on a piece of paper – you fuckin doodler – I’m gonna have you spend the night with Casey.
“-Aj aj aj, are you threatening me?” Yeah I am, of course – no I don’t think its gonna make any difference, and yes I know you’ll reject me. Do you really think I’m trying to be sophisticated here? I insist on being naïve, repetitive, categorical and now I’ve shot myself in both feet. But look, this is it: I’m not faking, I’m in no way cynical, I have no other ambitions than supersize me, I’m devastated and need your help. But until that day, I will not come up with any decent proposal, no solutions of ways out: I’m not “I’m afraid that’s up to you” (as one comment proposed), I’m “this is up to you” without afraid because if I show the way I have done nothing else than declared a politics and that’s totally undercomplex. It will at best be a little bit better, a little bit this or that, and that for those that use the out of office service, I’m not happy with anything smaller than the apocalypse. And that’s so not Casey, and so not Joaquin (what kind of name is that), so not fake, so not cynical. It’s the real deal and afterwards: you have no idea. No time to waste.